Inside Meryl Streep and Don Gummer's 45-year marriage after their secret split: From tying the knot

On Sunday, Meryl Streep and husband of 45 years, Don Gummer revealed they’ve been separated ‘for more than six years’ after deciding to have ‘lives apart.’ 

In a statement shared to Page Six, a spokesperson expressed the Hollywood actress, 74, and the sculptor, 76, ‘have been separated for more than 6 years, and while they will always care for each other, they have chosen lives apart.’ 

In the wake of the news that the couple secretly split six years ago, MailOnline takes a look back at their relationship. 

From tying the knot in her parents’ Connecticut garden after six months of dating to welcoming four children together, read below to find out more… 

Split: On Sunday, Meryl Streep and husband of 45 years, Don Gummer, revealed they’ve been separated ‘for more than six years’ after deciding to have ‘lives apart’ (Pictured in 2018)

Throwback: The pair married on September 30, 1978. The ceremony was held in the garden of her parents’ home on Mason’s Island in Connecticut (Pictured in 1979)

Family: The couple welcomed four kids: musician Henry Wolfe and actors Mamie Gummer, Grace Gummer and Louisa Jacobson, and now also have five grandchildren (Pictured in 2004)

First meeting after tragedy for Meryl  

Just weeks before meeting Don in early 1978, Meryl had been at the bedside of boyfriend of two years, actor John Cazale, as he died on March 12, 1978 in New York’s Memorial Sloan Kettering hospital.

A year earlier John had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and the disease sadly spread through his body. 

Following his death, Meryl was evicted from the New York apartment she lived in with him. Her brother Harry came to help her pack up, bringing along his friend Don Gummer.

Don was leaving the country to go travelling, and offered for Meryl to sublet his Soho loft during his absence. 

While he was away, the pair kept exchanged letters that became romantic. 

According to E! News, the actress wasn’t convinced she was ready for a new relationship, but a widowed friend encouraged her to spend time with Don if she liked him.

Wedding – September 1978 

When he returned from his travels, It’s Complicated actress Meryl ended up staying in his loft and just six months after her late boyfriend had passed away, the couple tied the knot. 

Six months later, on September 30, 1978, the pair tied the knot. The ceremony was held in the garden of her parents’ home on Mason’s Island in Connecticut. 

Team! In regards to raising their children, Meryl revealed to the Sydney Morning Herald in 2019, that both she and Don – who has an MFA from Yale – focused on ‘teamwork.’

Real talk: In 2002, Meryl told Vogue that the secret to her long marriage was: ‘Goodwill and willingness to bend – and to shut up every once in a while’

Children  

The married couple went on to welcome four kids: musician Henry Wolfe and actors Mamie Gummer, Grace Gummer and Louisa Jacobson, and now also have five grandchildren

In regards to raising their children, Meryl revealed during a 2019 interview with the Sydney Morning Herald that both she and Don – who has an MFA from Yale – focused on ‘teamwork.’

The Only Murders 3 star explained: ‘Teamwork is everything. My husband Don was…very involved. He was a little more relaxed when it comes to raising kids. I was more of a tiger mom.’

Career  

Meryl’s acting work would often see her away from home for months on end, and she has praised her husband for ‘always [being] happy to look after the children’ so she would feel ‘not as guilty’ about these necessary absences. 

In 2002, Meryl told Vogue that the secret to her long marriage was: ‘Goodwill and willingness to bend – and to shut up every once in a while.’

She added: ‘There’s no road map on how to raise a family: it’s always an enormous negotiation. But I have a holistic need to work and to have huge ties of love in my life. I can’t imagine eschewing one for the other.’ 

In 2012, while accepting the Academy Awards for Best Actress for her performance in The Iron Lady, Meryl gave a special shout-out to her husband, the man who helped her ‘live again’.

She said: ‘First I’m going to thank Don, because when you thank your husband at the end of the speech they play him out with the music. And I want him to know that everything I value most in our lives you’ve given me.’

Grateful: In 2012, while accepting the Academy Awards for Best Actress, Meryl gave a special shout-out to her husband, the man who helped her ‘live again’ (Pictured at the ceremony)

Big move  

For a long time Meryl, Don lived in Connecticut with their children, but 10 years ago, all four offspring having left home, the couple returned to New York. 

In addition to the Connecticut home where they raised their family, the pair also owned a loft in the Tribeca neighborhood in NYC until it was sold in 2020 for $15.8 million, according to Page Six. 

Later that same year, Meryl purchased a home in Pasadena for $4 million. 

According to the Page Six, Meryl was seen last seen together with Don at the 2018 Oscars ceremony. 

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